Time-Suck Theater: Installment #2

Our main goal for the weekend was to get some weatherizing done. Looking at our financials and places that need it most, we decide that insulating the walls inside the staircase to the basement would be the best place to start given that our basement is almost open to the outdoors. Finishing the basement will take a ton of time and money and it's not conditioned space anyways, so the cheapest way to seal up the upstairs is to seal that not-so-surprisingly porous entrance for cold air.
We pick up some inexpensive rolled insulation to line the walls (and this kiddy-extinguisher to keep it from acting as kindling), along with sweeps and some seals for the door. Installing rolled insulation is easy: cut it to the right length, stick it between the studs, and staple the brown paper to the stud faces. This whole job should only take us a reasonable 2 hours.

Wrong. Where are we installing this insulation again? In the 10-foot-tall walls overlooking the shoddy 10-foot staircase to the basement? Hmm...I guess we need to figure out a way to reach the top of the walls since there is absolutely nowhere we can set up ladder. My brilliant solution: death ladder. Just like the original construction ladder to the attic, I'd just take a couple sturdy scrap boards and screw them into the studs to give me one step and one handle to hold onto, then allowing me to reach out and staple in the insulation.

I liked my solution, Jessie thought it was stupid and dangerous. Her brilliant solution: platform of unspeakable horror. She grabbed some scrap 2x4s riddled with nails and tossed them over the divide. "So now I have a bed of nails to fall onto?" I asked. Then she takes a piece of 3/8" plywood and puts it over the top. "Oh, that's much more secure."

Well, like many things in a good marriage, this is a matter of compromise. Our compromise: use both brilliant solutions. This way, when I fall through the pile of scrap wood and nails I'll be doing so from at least three feet higher up. After that little delay, we're back to work and moving right along, three strips in place. They'll all go in this easy, right?

Wrong! First, we need to remove these several blocks of scrap wood used to support an electrical outlet. Then, we need to figure out what to do with the stove hood that's venting directly into the staircase. Awesome, right? Of course this takes some time because each scrap piece of wood is nailed to the next. Wow, do I hate nails. Now that that's done, we'll reroute the vent......actually, let's not. We'll just cut the power to it, block it off, and just not use it (being that it was use-less before the insulation anyways). Back in business! Funny, some of these strips are just a wee bit tighter than others. Didn't we measure this ahead of time to make sure they're normal construction?

WRONG! I mean, yes. Yes we measured two studs. They were indeed 16"-on-center. Those two. Here are the on-center measurements for the rest of the studs in these walls (in inches):





16 - 15.5 - 19 - 16.5 - 16.25 - 16 - 12.5 / 12.5 - 12.75 - 9.5 / 10 - 12.75 - 14.25 - 14 - 14 - 14.25 - 14 - 4.75 - 16.5 - 17.75





Ugh. What happened in here? I could get the spacing more accurate blindfolded. Maybe not much more accurate, but ignoring the studs on the end, the spacing varies by as much as 6.25" from smallest to biggest gap. So we made it almost halfway around with several gaps to be filled in later. Only took us most of the day with no simple solution to the stunning 1923 building standards.
Task #2: This isn't done yet and it will certainly be another day of work. Scoreboard - House: 2, Tome and Jessie: 0.

We drowned our sorrows in our family favorite: grilled cheese and tomato soup. Optimus was intrigued, but ultimately disappointed.

Tom

Currently listening to "Ice Cream Man" by Van Halen

Oh Smack, a Fence: Fence Stage Four

Remember way back when? Back when we wanted to build a fence but couldn't because the sheriff (who's also a zoning board member) dropped off a zoning application on our doorstep? Well, Jessie drew up some very detailed plans, which I biked down to the Town Hall (yes, that's the main Town hall entrance) and paid $40 to get a zoning certificate, finally allowing us to build a freaking fence. Only took three months for us to get this far.

Then, Jessie told me her dad and grandparents were coming down. I got home from work one day, and found this.
Hmm. That wasn't there before. Apparently they drove down in the morning and Doug and Larry started throwing up some boards...until they ran out of boards. It's so close, it's palpable.

Well, what else could we work on? Let's start with the holes in the roof. Yeah, that's probably a good thing to do before winter sets in. The eves on this house were "constructed" after the original house was put up. At least, I hope so. Typically, decking boards (4x8 sheets of OSB (oriented strand board (cheaper, pressed form of plywood))) are extended across the exterior walls to the outside edge of the eves. Instead, the geniuses who did this took some 6" wide tongue-and-groove boards and nailed them onto the exterior wall, cantilevered out...with no other support. In case not all the people reading this are engineers, let me just say that this is beyond stupid. Thus, our eves sag like crazy. It looks, and is, in every sense of the word, {awesome}>[span style="font:sarcasm;"].

For now though, the main issue is that there are four patches of shingles suspiciously missing from different sections of the eves that allowed a lot of water and other crap in. This kind of repair is something that I lovingly refer to as a "band-aid on a broken leg." It works for now to keep our house dry and seal up the attic, but doesn't address any of our structural issues, which will ultimately lead the roof falling off, more or less. For the record, tar paper does not equal shingles.

That phrase doesn't really convey our appreciation for the assistance in getting this done, because this will stave off heat-loss and water damage for a few years for the cost of a bundle of shingles until we can just redo the whole roof properly. This is a good thing, for our sanity and our wallets. Check out how awesome it looks all patched up, as demonstrated by these before and after pictures.












I would like to say that I actually came home and helped, or built the fence in any capacity, but not this time...Doug and Larry knocked this out and quickly at that. For that night though, everyone went to sleep, Doug on the couch, Larry and Dorothy in half of one room (post on that room is in the works)...then Larry and Doug woke up at some ridiculous hour, drove 20 minutes back into town, picked up the rest of the boards and hinge hardware we needed, then got to work making the gates to close up the perimeter. If you too would like to spend your vacations like this, leave a comment and we'll send you directions to our house. We'll provide the tools.

Before we knew it, we had a complete fence, including two gates to allow us easier entry and exit from the car parking area and the front garden, which has already come in very handy. Yeah pup, this fence is for you...to be trapped in forever! I wish we could trust him to just hang out in the yard and not bolt every time he sees a squirrel...but I'll settle for him having zero vertical, thus rendering him physically incapable of clearing a 30-36" fence. And it's completely 100% done forever! I mean, almost...


Now, I've talked in detail about the most cost-efficient design for our particular fence needs, which does indeed have its good and bad points. Ultimately, all that you need to ask is: Does the fence design work? In a word: Hilariously. Observe, in stunning 720p HD:

Tom

Currently listening to "Gunman" by Them Crooked Vultures