Oh Smack, a Fence: Fence Stage Four

Remember way back when? Back when we wanted to build a fence but couldn't because the sheriff (who's also a zoning board member) dropped off a zoning application on our doorstep? Well, Jessie drew up some very detailed plans, which I biked down to the Town Hall (yes, that's the main Town hall entrance) and paid $40 to get a zoning certificate, finally allowing us to build a freaking fence. Only took three months for us to get this far.

Then, Jessie told me her dad and grandparents were coming down. I got home from work one day, and found this.
Hmm. That wasn't there before. Apparently they drove down in the morning and Doug and Larry started throwing up some boards...until they ran out of boards. It's so close, it's palpable.

Well, what else could we work on? Let's start with the holes in the roof. Yeah, that's probably a good thing to do before winter sets in. The eves on this house were "constructed" after the original house was put up. At least, I hope so. Typically, decking boards (4x8 sheets of OSB (oriented strand board (cheaper, pressed form of plywood))) are extended across the exterior walls to the outside edge of the eves. Instead, the geniuses who did this took some 6" wide tongue-and-groove boards and nailed them onto the exterior wall, cantilevered out...with no other support. In case not all the people reading this are engineers, let me just say that this is beyond stupid. Thus, our eves sag like crazy. It looks, and is, in every sense of the word, {awesome}>[span style="font:sarcasm;"].

For now though, the main issue is that there are four patches of shingles suspiciously missing from different sections of the eves that allowed a lot of water and other crap in. This kind of repair is something that I lovingly refer to as a "band-aid on a broken leg." It works for now to keep our house dry and seal up the attic, but doesn't address any of our structural issues, which will ultimately lead the roof falling off, more or less. For the record, tar paper does not equal shingles.

That phrase doesn't really convey our appreciation for the assistance in getting this done, because this will stave off heat-loss and water damage for a few years for the cost of a bundle of shingles until we can just redo the whole roof properly. This is a good thing, for our sanity and our wallets. Check out how awesome it looks all patched up, as demonstrated by these before and after pictures.

I would like to say that I actually came home and helped, or built the fence in any capacity, but not this time...Doug and Larry knocked this out and quickly at that. For that night though, everyone went to sleep, Doug on the couch, Larry and Dorothy in half of one room (post on that room is in the works)...then Larry and Doug woke up at some ridiculous hour, drove 20 minutes back into town, picked up the rest of the boards and hinge hardware we needed, then got to work making the gates to close up the perimeter. If you too would like to spend your vacations like this, leave a comment and we'll send you directions to our house. We'll provide the tools.

Before we knew it, we had a complete fence, including two gates to allow us easier entry and exit from the car parking area and the front garden, which has already come in very handy. Yeah pup, this fence is for you...to be trapped in forever! I wish we could trust him to just hang out in the yard and not bolt every time he sees a squirrel...but I'll settle for him having zero vertical, thus rendering him physically incapable of clearing a 30-36" fence. And it's completely 100% done forever! I mean, almost...

Now, I've talked in detail about the most cost-efficient design for our particular fence needs, which does indeed have its good and bad points. Ultimately, all that you need to ask is: Does the fence design work? In a word: Hilariously. Observe, in stunning 720p HD:


Currently listening to "Gunman" by Them Crooked Vultures

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